Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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