Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
