There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
