do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
