haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize