I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
