Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
we should paint friendship bongs
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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