what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
We named our party play list daddy issues
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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