am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I feel like a drive thru vagina
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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