Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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