I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i came on her dog
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
