we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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