I'm drive I can fine osifer
Pants 0. Shit 1.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
