Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
