i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
