I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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