I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Randomize
