i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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