:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize