Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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