You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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