She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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