You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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