..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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