everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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