69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
