I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
