ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
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you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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