i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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