then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
