I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Randomize
