I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I believe in your delicious
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
