Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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