she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
