the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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