It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
the liver wants what the liver wants
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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