What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
