Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
My life is pants optional.
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