Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Even the bartender felt bad for me
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
