and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
