We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
