drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
