Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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