Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
