How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
