I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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