All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
