5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
