soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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