awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
they're like a gay fantastic four
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
