Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
