I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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