Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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