Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Randomize
