Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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