sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
