You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
BRING THE BAGELS
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
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