I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
