I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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