Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
